To be honest, I am really stumped on a way of visually representing my disaster, at the point the only thing that can come to mind are words that would describe my feelings, reaction, and possible my coping mechanisms. As I was standing in between the cars, waiting for the conductor to announce the arrival of Secaucus Junction, I kept thinking about all the what ifs that could occur. Instinctively I kept thinking about all the acts of violence that could break out; someone stepping on another person' foot, someone getting their foot stuck in a crack while holding, someone's leg catching the gap in between the train, or their arm caught in the door as the train sped away. But for some reason I could not help but wonder what would happen if someone became violent on the train, what if the pulled out a gun, held the car hostage (would I be able to provide for myself and others on the train until the gunmen was ready to let us go, would I know how to handle myself in a situation like that, who could I trust, would I be willing to others to organize or lead the group, would I be able to remain composed and follow directions?) But then I thought that situation was too violence, too negative, almost too real for me to image, so I wondered what would I do it the train cars had separated, if I am standing in one car and the connecting piece became detached, what would I do, how would I react, would the conductor be able to gain control of dislodged car? If the train had come to a halt in a remote area, would I be mental, physically, or emotionally prepared to confront the situation. However I think my answer would be maybe, because when put into a situation I become stronger, more capable of handling a situation with grace even though there is chaos, I think that I would become more creative with the resources available, more willing to allow others to help, able to take a leadership role.
Maybe because I am unable to come up with a visual representation I think it would be interesting to play with the written and verbal forms of communication. How do our thoughts and communication skills become muddled when we are under stress or in a traumatic situation. Maybe make a film that just uses audio commands of instructions. This would be interesting because it is exploring the power of words, specifically written and verbal commands, but also makes social commentary on literacy, our ability to understand written and verbal communication, language, and dialect.
(sorry that this idea is kins of all over the place)
Some interesting threads here. It's fascinating to me that you started with such violent fantasies, then wrote off the notion of imaging them because a robbery at gunpoint may be "too negative, almost too real." There's got to be a million to one chance that might actually happen in your lifetime - even if you live in a very risky environment.
ReplyDeleteCommunicative response under stress is fascinating. I've actually been robbed at gunpoint. It was during the robbery of a McDonalds I happened to walk into the middle of many years ago. No one was hurt (except the robber), and the randomness of my response is the most disturbing memory. My communicative response was definitely altered in that situation, as was my logic. I smile under stress, and I clearly recall having a big grin on my face while the thief was emptying the registers right in front of me. Moments later, when he ducked into the back of the ktichen I ran to the area near the restrooms to alert and assist a woamn with two small children. I helped to scoop us the kids and took them out of the restaurant. Then, and this is the illogical part, I ran back in to stand exactly where I had been. Why? I still have no idea. I was safe and should have stayed out, but I was compelled by instinct to return.
A good friend of mine was recently mugged on his walk home form work (knocked down from behind, then kept on the ground with a gun in his face while a second man took all his stuff). My friend told me the guy wielding the gun was so nervous and shaky he could barely speak to bark orders.
You might take a look at the chapter in the Ripley book about surviving a hostage situation as a jumping off point. There may also be some interesting brain research out there about this type of stress induced impairment. Also look up "command voice" and other combat communication tactics employed by the military.
I also think you should look int your fears of the unknown, the random, the uncontrollable, and the stranger. They seem to fuel your disaster fantasies. Aside from putting yourself on that train, what risky behaviors or perils do you control, take part in regularly, schedule, or bring on by your association with people you already know?